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Are You Speaking Your Partner's Language?

February 28, 2018

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4 Ways to Get Closer This Holiday Season

 

With Halloween ushering in the fall festivities, we now find ourselves looking toward the time of celebration, holiday get togethers, friends, family, and overall BUSYNESS.  

 

It’s easy to let your relationship go by the wayside during this time of year; there are a lot of demands on our time, our energy, and other resources! It’s incredibly important to stay grounded in what matters to you, and I’m assuming (if you’re reading this post) your relationship is at the top of that list. 

 

So, here are a few ways to get closer this holiday season: 

 

1. Plan a date for JUST the two of you. I don’t mean “office holiday party turned date night”. I mean a date night (or day!) with just the two of you experiencing quality time together. If you’re a social couple, your calendar is likely pretty full this time of you. I encourage you to plan a date for the two of you and treat it as you would anything else- a priority. Make this a non negotiable time to reconnect amidst the full schedules.

 

2. Develop a holiday tradition. You likely have some of these already, but developing your own traditions can foster a sense of closeness. Shared experiences can increase connection. Whether it’s picking out a Christmas tree together, going to a religious service, making your favorite seasonal meal, etc., develop a tradition you both look forward to.

 

3. Ditch the devices. Yep, this one is hard. We’re all pretty glued to our iPhones and laptops, but an intentional effort at LESS screen time goes a long ways.  I can’t tell you how often I hear how devices (computers, phones, tv’s, etc.) are leading to feelings of disconnect and frustration in relationships. Sure, they’re also really great and make our lives easier in a lot of ways, but when it comes to relationships, they have this not-so-great capability of stealing the gift of true presence.  When you get home from work, put your phone in a drawer for an hour and BE with your partner / family. Go to dinner and don’t take your phone inside (this is one of my husband and I’s favorite things to do!). Go on a walk and leave your phones at home. Instead of continuing that Netflix binge together, take a night off and play a game instead. See what happens when you ditch the devices for a bit! 

 

4. Check in with how the holidays make your partner FEEL.  Often, we assume that the holidays are a cheerful, fun time for everyone, but many times, they are not. If your partner’s work is in flux and unsteady, if he/she has suffered the loss of a family member or friend, or if it’s just been a tough year all around, the holidays can be difficult. Check in to see how your partner is feeling and ask how you might help. This kind of attention to the deeper spaces within your partner goes a long way toward increasing connection.

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